Life is like a blind date... And she shows up late.

Life can throw some serious curveballs your way. Seems like only yesterday when you think you've got it all figured out, it tosses a monkey wrench in the cogs of everything. It's like when you prepare yourself for a test, and then realize you studied for math class, when your test is in ancient Biblical Hebrew.

Really, life is like a blind date. You're not sure what's going to come up next. And most of the things are out of your control. So what good does it do to worry yourself about whether or not you got the A on that paper, or if the mail is going to be late, or if the police are going to find the body of that dead hooker and trace it back to you? There are things that you can't have any say in whatsoever. Like a blind date. Life comes at you whether you like it or not.

I can't tell you how many times I've been afraid to do something, simply because of the consequences. Like looking at a grade of a class before a major holiday, such as Christmas. But then I think to myself: "So what?" Does my single letter that defines my efforts for that semester really affect my ability to spend time with my family? Either way, it's going to be there, regardless of the date, so what good does it do me to delay? Might as well bite the bullet, check, be happy/sad and move on. The world will keep on spinning, even if you get a B.

Now, some of you reading this disagree. Saying that I'm downplaying the importance of certain things, that might reflect badly on a given time of year, or might be difficult to deal with. My response: excuses are like assholes- full of shit. As I said before, the world is going to keep on spinning whether or not you know what color of car you're going to buy, or if that stain came out of your sweater at the dry cleaners. So just get over it. Building up the situation only makes the inevitable harder to swallow if things that you planned for didn't go as you wanted. So don't give excuses. Just do it. Isn't that what Nike always says? And look at them. They've got Air Jordans. Do you have Air Jordans? Didn't think so.

So go ahead, open the Ark of the Covenant. I'm sure you'll fare better than the Nazis did.

Weren't we promised jetpacks? And space boots?

Life doesn't go as planned. There. I said it. Now that that's out of the way, let's start with today's rant of insanity from the sane. I want you to think long and hard about your perceptions from your earlier years. Back when we thought The Jetsons was how the world was going to be at the turn of the millennium, and we all thought that by buying a DeLorean, we could be Doc Brown and make a flux capacitor. Now look at the world around you. A bit different, isn't it? That's because our perceptions of the world are often formed by our paradigms of the times. And, I don't know about you, but I'm not a psychic (though I wish I could play one on TV).

Really, no one knows how the future is going to go. We can prepare all we want, take every possible precaution, but at the end of the day, Dec. 23, 2012 is still gonna come around just like any other day (Just kidding! We're gonna be nothing but the crispy remains of earth on that day). But does this mean that we need to fear the future? It seems to be human nature to fear the unknown. But does this mean that we should build a 2012 bunker and hide? Well I did. (Just kidding, do you think I would build one, then tell everyone who reads my blog-a whopping 6 people-about it, then try to fit them all in? Doubtful. Just don't go looking in my backyard for an apocalypse bunker).

But really, this post isn't about fearing the unknown, or embracing the future, rather, today, I'd just like to point out that no matter how you look at things, they'll be different than you expected. Like I said previously, The Jetsons haven't landed yet, nor have we met Marvin the Martian, yet the world keeps on spinning. Honestly, we always have such perceptions for the future, even if it's something as simple as getting a test back. And you can plan it however you like, but it doesn't mean your right. So why worry about things in the past, worried how they may turn out in the future? You can't change them, and the future? Well, who knows what's gonna happen.

So really, folks. Why worry about the perceptions of the future? It's like attempting to do a puzzle, without seeing the picture. And guess what? The whole puzzle is the sky. And things always have a way of working themselves out in the end, even if you're not sure what's going to happen. So don't worry, I'm sure the real estate I bought on Mars will be worth something soon.

Apologies.

To those of you who actually read this, I apologize. As you can probably extrapolate, I'm still in college, and starting to go through my senior year, working on applications to graduate schools, attempting to juggle a social life, etc. And I have posts ready to put up here.

I just haven't put them up yet. Or actually finished them. So my apologies. I will be handing out apology hugs in front of my dorm for the next few hours, in the blistering cold, simply because I love you, my (6) followers. Yes, there are only 6 of you who actually read this, however, I'm sure there are others who may stumble across my rantings.

And yes, I know that it always seems like extended periods of time before I post, but it keeps you guessing. So hang in there folks. I vow to post a few more times now that I have the semblance of free time on my hands. I love you all.

Updates for my devoted followers

Good afternoon, ladies, gentlemen, undecided, aliens, and those who refuse to conform to society. Maybe it's not afternoon where you're at, but it's afternoon here, so nyah nyah.

Anyways, this post is to serve as a sort of update, to keep you in the loop as to how things are going, and what has happened lately. First off, my posting lately has been a tad lax (I mean come on, I'm putting up maybe a post every couple weeks if we're lucky). I'm hoping to change that in the future, and post more often, however, with school approaching and the GREs soon to follow, who knows how that resolution will go.

For those of you who only read passively, and check back just to see that there are no new posts, I have added a "Feedburner" Subscription tool. What this means, I think, is that you can subscribe to my posts by E-mail, and when I put something out on this blog, you'll be able to see, without having to check back with disappointment. So yay! Subscribe, tell your friends, and please share the word of my insanity.

Lastly, we need to talk promotion people. With my Blogger follower, I have 6 people. With the Feedburner, I hope to get some more people. So please tell your friends to subscribe, it would mean a lot to me, and might inspire me to post a lot more.

I'm working on a new post now, so here's hoping I have someone to read it.

"Brahouna! Brahouna, Takaru!"

While reading my novel of the month, "Player Piano" by the infamous satirist Kurt Vonnegut, who also deserved an Academy Award for his appearance in Back to School, if you ask me. There is a character known as the Shah of Bratpuhr who refers to the common working man as "Takaru," translated in his native tongue means "slaves". For those of you who would like more backstory on the Shah of Bratpuhr, pick up a damn book. Or, since I'm in a good mood, I'll give you a crash course. He visits America to find ways to improve the life of his country, but finds that the more he sees, the more citizens he classifies as "slaves". In his country there is no word for citizen.

But on to today's lecture, kiddies. Why, in a world of free speech, freedom of religion, freedom to do just about whatever you want (within reason of course), should we live as proverbial slaves? Why not break free of the mold once in a while. I'm not saying we should abandon the social norms, start a revolution and raise hell the likes of which have never been seen... But I am to an extent, the more I think about it. You can go about your life through the usual 9-5 grindstone, and live a drab life, and not do anything, or you can live.

The Shah of Bratpuhr told the average everyday worker to live, as demonstrated in the passage: " 'Brahouna!' cried the Shah cheerfully. He waved. 'Brahouna, Takaru.' 'Live,' translated Krashdrahr." (Player Piano. p. 169). He cheerfully calls to the citizens, who he sees as slaves, to live. Is that so much of a challenge that we can't do it? Must we simply live our lives through our work, as the characters do in the novel? Slaves to our industry?

Learn to love life. Because without a joie de vivre, you might as well chain yourself to your work, and that's not living... That's turning yourself into a slave.

So get busy livin' or get busy dyin', either way, you're gonna end up in the same place; just a matter of if you enjoyed your trip.

Getting older? Arthritis five!

Well, it happens to all of us. At some point and time, you're going to sit back, look at your life, and realize that it's passed you by, and you are, as they say, old. But old is relative. Your idea of old could be trading in your Corvette for a Volvo, could be the day you stop believing in Santa, it might just be the day you realize that you've started to grow up (mindfuck much?)

And that's what I'm going to write about today, folks: growing up. It might come to you soon, or maybe you think your years away. But sooner or later, you're going to grow up. You're going to have to face the world, and it may really suck. It wasn't until I was heading out to the Jersey shore for a weekend that it dawned on me: I was growing up. I was forced to make different, more mature decisions, my parents had all but cut me loose for the most part (in terms of me going places, etc. No more did I have to call in wherever I went), and I was financially responsible for my own portfolio.

Fuck. When did this happen? I guess it can be traced back to the old parable about the sword of Damocles. For those of you unfamiliar with this story, it's about a peasant who trades places with a king, believing the king to have a vast fortune, however, upon trading places, he sees a sword hanging above his head by a single horse hair, and immediately the food has lost all taste, and his "fortune" feels empty. That's how life is. If you focus simply on the here and now, things may seem great, but then when you get to the later years, they might seem downright shitty. Or if you focus solely on the later years, your simple pleasures of early life are lost. For those of you who couldn't figure it out, the early years are the joys of being a king, without seeing the sword. Go from there on your interpretations.

Growing up is going to happen, whether you like it or not (Sorry Michael Jackson). You're going to have to mature, face newer challenges, and begin to turn your back on earlier things in life that maybe you proverbially "outgrow", just like clothes. You wear them and then they stay the same size as you get bigger, so you get new ones. Cartoons may be funny if you're high as a kite, but they're not quite as chic when you're bored on a Saturday night**. Time for a big boy show.

But that's not me saying abandon all hope of enjoying your childhood. The key is to grow with the changes, roll with the punches, and just let life come at you as it will. But don't be one of those avant-garde people who want to be adults when they're kids, and act pompous about it. This isn't a justification to turn your back on people your own age. But also don't be the kid at the frat party, just because you don't want to admit that you have to grow up. I've seen people who look forward to living with their parents in their early 20s, simply because life seems simpler there. I've seen people who want to be independent at 16, because they feel held back by their parents. You have to find a balance that's right for you.

The sad reality is that you get older, and things are going to change. You're going to have to get a helmet to cover up your own sword of Damocles with age. Because, let's face it. You can't turn back the hands of time. So enjoy it while you can, but embrace the change as it comes. That's the way to protect your head from that sword.

Now hand me my dentures. I need to look good at the frat party tonight.

**Please note that I'm not hating on cartoons specifically. Ironically, a lot of them have very mature undertones that a kid wouldn't pick up on. MY roommate also enjoys his weekly doses of Adventure Time. It's just when cartoons are your only television intake that you might notice weird looks from people.

"What a long, strange, trip it's been..."

Many of you know that this Friday, August 6, 2010, I will be turning 21. Ironically coinciding with the 65th anniversary of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima. But that's not the point. I will have hit a milestone. Over a decade of my life will have been lived. I will have hit the last major birthday in my life until I turn 40 (hooray for a prostate exam). But fingers up the ass aside, I took some time to start reflecting on how far I've come in these last 21 years. I shall elaborate on such, in the simplest terms, and the most convenient definitions.

RELIGION
Having attempted to write this part of the blog, going on three times now, and I've discovered that I can't do so without writing a full discourse on my views of religion, so stay posted folks, I'm working on a new post.

For now, I'll leave it at: I am Roman Catholic, a bit of a spiritualist (in the sense of personal prayer, and personalized faith), and I believe in intelligent design. More to come.

ACADEMIA/LIFE
Academia. What a title. I guess here is where I'll post my academic history, my hopes and dreams for the future in school, and all that. I'll be concise. I'm a member of the Fordham University Class of 2011, set to graduate with a Bachelor's Degree in Chemistry, hopefully with American Chemical Society accreditation. I intend to pursue a Ph.D in organic chemistry somewhere. I just don't know where yet.

When it comes to subjects outside of the classroom, I'm a bit of a Jack of all trades, as my friends will attest. I have a mildly encyclopedic knowledge of music from the 60s through 80s (and if I don't know the answer, I will go out of my way to discover the answer to it). I'm a certified New York state Emergency Medical Technician, recently certified. I study politics (I'll get into that later), as well as philosophy. I may not be the best in some of these fields, but I'll never back down from a good debate on something. Overall, rather than say I'm a brainiac, a nerd, stupid, or weird, I'm just going to say that my interests are me.

POLITICS
When it comes to politics, I indentify myself as a moderately conservative Republican. The more I watch the world's politics, the more I feel like those who run the country either understand sociology or understand politics. I mean there are people who have figured out ways to help people, but they lack the drive to follow their actual goals. Or they have the drive, but not the ability to properly accomplish what they wanted. Politics is fucked up. I stick to my views, I won't force 'em down your throat, unless you open your mouth, and start spouting propaganda bullshit. If you do, be prepared for a shitstorm, the likes of which you'll never wish to endure. So be prepared.

FAMILY
Through these last 21 years, I've developed quite a rapport with my family. Although I may call them crazy, or even not wish to associate with my extended family at times, there's one thing that will always hold true. Family comes first. I'll defend them no matter what, however crazy they may be. And it always will. There are some friends of mine who I consider family, hell closer than family. They know who they are, and I want them to know that I would do anything for them.

Of course, this post has been altered several times over before this final posting, so if this product seems incohesive, that's why. I wasn't going on to rant about something that's been bugging me, or a personal burning passion. Rather, I've been wanting to do something like this for a while: a sort of out of body soul search and a look back at who I am. If I didn't post it on here, I may have just cut it out, or decided I wanted to keep it personal.

On that note, I'll close this out saying, here's a toast to all those who have come along on this 21 year journey. What a long, strange, trip it's been, and here's to the next legs of the journey. To life!

**Please note that the title/theme of this blog was taken from Robert Hunter's lyric in "Truckin' ": "Lately it occurs to me, what a long, strange trip it's been." (taken from the album American Beauty, by the Grateful Dead)

"All the small things..."

Life is funny. Sometimes it shits on you. Sometimes it gives you everything you want. Maybe you'll total your new BMW, or maybe you'll get a raise at work. Funny how it works out: a balance of give and take. As stated in the infamous Fight Club, "On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero." How does that work for happiness? If this is the case, that on a long enough timeline, everything equalizes, how can we actually enjoy life?

I say to you this, my devout readers, savor the little victories in life, or else you'll go crazy. Share joy with people, life is to short to live in pessimism. This may sound like a uncharacteristic statement for me to make, but it's really not. If you find joy in being a cynical person, then go for it. Just enjoy what you're doing in life. Share with other people, and they will share their joy with you as well. So savor the little things. Think of "[p]eculiar travel suggestions as dancing lessons from God." (Cat's Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut). It's the little things and the details that push that little meter toward happiness. It all depends on how you look at it all.

So don't think too big picture. Not to say that you shouldn't at least glance at it all, but don't get so caught up in it that the little things pass you by. Life is more than a total endgame. Live, laugh, love. We don't spend enough time on this earth to justify staying in all the time and not going out to live life to the fullest. Enjoy the little things, be it a friend working hard to pass a test that he was certain he was going to fail, or something as simple as an old friend stopping by just to say hi. It's the little things that make life interesting, so enjoy them.

To clarify my argument about the whole life isn't an endgame: it's not. Life isn't just a slow, steady walk to the grave. It moves really fast. Ask anyone who has felt as though they missed something in life, and they'll tell you the same. There are little things in life to be savored, and that's how you achieve happiness in the whole situation. You just enjoy the little things. Find joy in little places, and it'll add up.

The final word? If the devil's in the details, better hope that son of a bitch makes 'em interesting.

**Also, for those of you who noticed the title, it is in fact from "All the Small Things" by blink-182. Normally, I'd think of a clever witticism for the title, but this one fits pretty damn well.

Dedication: This post is dedicated to Jei Ik Chang, a friend of mine in my EMT-B class who, despite a staggering language barrier from South Korea to America, was able to pass the practical exam on 06/07/10. Congratulations Jei Ik.

Can I get a bigger fishbowl? I can't fit my new castle in...

Pink Floyd, in their famous song "Wish You Were Here" sang "We're just two lost souls, swimmin' in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground. What have you found? The same old fears. Wish you were here." But who is missing in this case? The entire song asks for finding the difference between Heaven and hell, a cool breeze versus hot air, even a "walk on part in the war" or a "leading role in a cage". The thing that's missing is life itself. The person is just going through the motions in life. They keep going over the same situations, and they keep finding the same things.

Funny how that applies to life, isn't it? If you keep doing the same things over and over, you'll get the same results. So simple, yet so profound. On the surface, things might seem different, but they rarely are. There might be some little detail that you think has changed, but details is details. You can keep changing the situation as best you can, but unless you're changing your course of actions, you're just going to keep "running over the same old ground."

Expand your life to something new. No, don't decide to set your house on fire, live in an abandoned warehouse, and make soap. I mean, if you know something hasn't worked out in the past, who's to say it's going to magically work out the next time? Well, give it a shot. Oh wait. Didn't work that time? Gonna try it again? Didn't work that time? Oh damn. Now, I'm not saying not to be persistent. But open your eyes a bit. Don't he so hung up on one thing! Go out and live your life! After all, you're on this world for so long, so you might as well try something new. What's the worst thing that can happen?

...That last question was rhetorical. I'm sure tons of things can go wrong. But hey, that's life. If you're going to keep living in fear of something new, you might as well get a little plastic castle, some colored rocks, and wait for the magical giant to sprinkle your dinner through your roof.

"Here, can you put on this cape, and remember, I don't speak English..."

I'd like to start off this post with a quote from, in my opinion, one of the greatest writers to grace the face of the earth. Satirist Kurt Vonnegut Jr. once said "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be," in his novel Mother Night, published 1961. And how right he was. What is our existence but a compilation of our perceptions of others? If you define yourself differently, who's gonna back that up?

You need to keep in mind that your perception of others is really a basis of who you really are. Sure, you can be someone different to different people, but what if there's no consistency? Who are you in that sense? Are you the party loving, free spirit? Or the bookworm, who holes himself up in the library? Who can vouch for you, if you need a character reference? The man you blacked out with and got married to in Vegas? Or your study buddy who you spent countless hours in the library with, trying to make sure you understood the history of Soviet Russia? Honestly, if you were in court, I'd recommend the study buddy to vouch for you that you're not a criminal.

But outside of court, what about how people define you to others? When people ask about you, what if you don't want to be the party guy and you want to be the bookworm? Are you willing to compromise your integrity as a person just to impress someone? Be consistent, for Christ's sake! I'm not going to preach here that I'm the same person to everyone, but at least I don't try to hide my multi-faceted personality. Embrace who you are with people. If someone thinks your a nerd for being a science major, at least admit to them you like to tie a few on. No need to wave a sign screaming your college alcoholism. But don't hide it under a rock like your porn collection you give to a friend to hide from you for Lent.

So really folks, let's not pretend we're something we're not. Keep consistency, or else you're more waffle-y than IHOP on a Sunday. And no one wants that. After all, you don't come with free toppings.