"Here, can you put on this cape, and remember, I don't speak English..."

I'd like to start off this post with a quote from, in my opinion, one of the greatest writers to grace the face of the earth. Satirist Kurt Vonnegut Jr. once said "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be," in his novel Mother Night, published 1961. And how right he was. What is our existence but a compilation of our perceptions of others? If you define yourself differently, who's gonna back that up?

You need to keep in mind that your perception of others is really a basis of who you really are. Sure, you can be someone different to different people, but what if there's no consistency? Who are you in that sense? Are you the party loving, free spirit? Or the bookworm, who holes himself up in the library? Who can vouch for you, if you need a character reference? The man you blacked out with and got married to in Vegas? Or your study buddy who you spent countless hours in the library with, trying to make sure you understood the history of Soviet Russia? Honestly, if you were in court, I'd recommend the study buddy to vouch for you that you're not a criminal.

But outside of court, what about how people define you to others? When people ask about you, what if you don't want to be the party guy and you want to be the bookworm? Are you willing to compromise your integrity as a person just to impress someone? Be consistent, for Christ's sake! I'm not going to preach here that I'm the same person to everyone, but at least I don't try to hide my multi-faceted personality. Embrace who you are with people. If someone thinks your a nerd for being a science major, at least admit to them you like to tie a few on. No need to wave a sign screaming your college alcoholism. But don't hide it under a rock like your porn collection you give to a friend to hide from you for Lent.

So really folks, let's not pretend we're something we're not. Keep consistency, or else you're more waffle-y than IHOP on a Sunday. And no one wants that. After all, you don't come with free toppings.