Is "Life" open book? Because I didn't study...

School. Oh yes, we all go to school at some point. Maybe you don't. Maybe you dropped out. Maybe you're a post doctorate. Maybe you're just some schmuck who stumbled into a classroom, sat in a desk, and woke up hours later, realizing you learned quantum physics in your sleep. Who knows? Honestly, I don't give a damn. We've all had some sort of education experience, where we're told that this is going to be important. Addition, multiplication, reading. Maybe later in life you learn things related to a potential job. Your college major. Your concentration. Your job training.

But there's more to life than learning in a classroom. We learn from our experiences. Our mistakes. Our successes. The old adage of "You learn more from your failures than your successes" echoes true, whether we want to admit it or not. I mean, look at the way things play out. Sure, we can write a paper about Oedipus Rex, learn all about how Oedipus offed his father and diddled his mother, but who's the professor for life? Who judges your decisions that you make, just as a professor grades your papers on whether you were right or wrong that gravity points down or whether or not Hamlet was crazy or really seeing his father's ghost.

The answer, my friends, is simple. You are your own professor. You are the one who judges the validity of your decisions. You choose how you let things affect you. You learn on your own. Sure, there are people who guide you along the way, but when push comes to shove, and the chips are down, you're the one who decides along the way. You grade your own performance in life.

Better give yourself a good curve.

-Matt

Sometimes you have to read the writing on the wall...

I saw something interesting on Facebook, yes Facebook my enlightened readers. I saw a Bumper Sticker that stated (in the form of black writing on a red bathroom stall): "Since writing on toilet walls is done neither for critical acclaim nor financial rewards, it is the purest form of art. Discuss." Interesting sentiment, ain't it? The purest form of art is that done by amateurs armed with nothing more than a felt tipped marker or pen, whilst using a public toilet. I've seen some real interesting writings on bathroom walls. "Joe was here." Insightful, and often paired with the often inevitable, "Joe is a faggot," or any insulting variation. Artsy? I'd have to say nay. Rather, it's more of a way for someone to vent their frustration on an anonymous stranger. Others see it as a guy simply stating his presence, making it known. A smaller group still, might walk in, see the writing and cry out: "Hey! I know Joe! I didn't know he shit here! Holy hot dicks from hell, I'm going to call him and tell him we shared a toilet!"

But that's not the art we're talking about here. Rather, we're talking about the philosophical statement or poem scribbled on the walls. We've all read them, be it in a truck stop, bathroom stall, or what have you. They make us question something philosophically. If you haven't read something like this, I recommend going on a road trip, and eating some Mexican food along the way. Trust me, you'll find something. I'm referring to something along the lines of "Stop and smell the roses. Life moves too fast."

Now, for those of you who know me, you know that I could go on for days about that single quote, regarding how fast live moves, but I have a different intent for this posting. Why would I bring up the juxtaposition of the "Joe was here" bathroom squabbling of the potential beauty of bathroom poetry. I bring it up because that's exactly what life is. There are the little gems of beauty that give us a new lease on things, maybe a new view. They come in many forms, such as someone resolving an issue between you and them, maybe someone paying off a debt you had forgotten about, or maybe someone wants to rekindle a relationship that you had with them, that had since fallen by the wayside. Then there are the "Joe was here" moments; moments that had potential to be something meaningful on a blank canvas, but rather, clutter our minds, feelings, and emotions.

The dichotomy of life. We have times that change our lives, maybe alter our views on life, and then we have the senseless babble of a bathroom prophet. Sure, we all wish that life was just the beauty and philosophy of the former posts, but we can't completely disregard the latter. Sometimes the rage of a ranting indoctrinator breaks up the monotony of life, and gives one a little bit of senseless fun. Without such moments, the meaningful things seem less meaningful. To quote Jay, the incessant stoner from the Kevin Smith View Askewniverse, "He thinks just 'cause he doesn't say anything, it'll have some huge impact when he does open his fuckin' mouth," (Chasing Amy**). Really, the most meaningful things in life are only meaningful once we have some standard to compare them against. Can't have good times without some bad times to remind us how good the good times were.

Savor what comes by, my dear readers. Life moves fast, and you can miss it pretty easily if you don't take a breath once in a while. Besides, variety is the spice of life. It might come from a different type of jalapenos on your nachos. Maybe it comes from finding a quarter on the ground, when you thought you dropped a penny. And sometimes, the spice of life comes from the scribblings of someone on a public toilet stall. Time to write your own story.

By the way, do you have a Sharpie I can borrow? I had tacos for lunch.

-Matt

**For those of you who aren't familiar with Chasing Amy or any other works of Kevin Smith that take place in the fictional View Askweniverse, Jay is referring to a character, aptly named, Silent Bob. He lives up to his name in the sense that he never speaks in any of the movies, and, as implied by Jay's declaration, when he does speak, it often imparts some philosophical knowledge. The irony is that the quiet one, Silent Bob, will impart gems of knowledge once or twice in a movie, when Jay, the loudmouth stoner, won't stop talking, and rarely gives any insight more than childish babble of "Snoochie Boochies".

Draw a line in the sand and hand me my fiddle...

He who stands for nothing will fall for anything. And people who stand for something will often end up on the losing end of a sucker punch from another belief. And then there are those who just want to watch the world burn, like how Nero played the fiddle as Rome burned. They don't care who wins or loses, as long as the spectacle is entertaining.

So why should someone stand up for something if there is just as much pleasure to be found in "watching the world burn"? Why should we risk the chance that we fail? Because if we don't, then you lose. I'm not talking losing in the sense of temporary defeat. I'm talking you forfeit your right to complain about anything. If you don't have a side, how can you complain about the outcome? It's like those people who refuse to vote and then complain when a given candidate wins. How can you complain when you didn't have a side? Stand up for something. If you don't have a preference, who are you to complain in the outcome? Honestly, if you don't care about the campaigning, you clearly don't care about the outcome, and since you don't care about the outcome, you clearly feel as though you're simply impartial to anything that may happen. But you're not. Inherently, you have a belief deep down that you judge the outcome against. Your personal standard, if you will.

By judging everything against this standard, it stands to reason that you do care. You do give a shit, you just don't have the balls to stand up for it. While others are fighting for something they believe in, you just sit there, watching them. You willingly sell out your belief on the grounds that you think that you're impartial. Sell out your beliefs, I'll stand by what I believe in, and fight for it.

So I'll tell you what. You sit there and play your fiddle. I'll take some matches and start a few fires.

-Matt

It's the most (adjective)-ful time of the year...

Tis the season, eh readers? Ah who the hell am I kidding, like 3 people read this.

But I digress. Tis the season, indeed. It's almost Christmas. The stores are full of people doing their shopping, many, myself included, are traveling home to see their families. School is winding down for a nice break from the tedium of the in and out daily routines. Work, on the other hand, prepares for a 3 day stand still. But that's not the point.

The point is, that with the holiday season approaching, the stress rises for all parties involved. Parents rush to prepare their houses for their children, families frantically search for the perfect toy for their children, and students are working down from the hustle and bustle of final exams. So much craziness for a holiday that lasts 1 day (Two if you count Christmas Eve). Sure, it's quite a delightful time, to see family, friends, and long lost acquaintances. Gifts to give and recieve, to share and be shared.

But such stress. Oh, the stress. How can we deal with the stress? Hell, there are tons of ways. I say to you, my devoted readers (all 3 of you), take the time this holiday season to unwind. Take some time for yourself. Sure, this isn't the cynical post that some have come to expect from this blog, so I will admit this. I love the holidays. I hate the holiday season, the 4 month lead in for Christmas, the year of planning for Easter vacation, the expectation of a New Year's Party. It's crazy how much preparation is put into a short affair. Yet the affair seems to make it all worth it. Sometimes to realize how nice the holidays can be, all it takes is some words in a piece of paper to make even the most cynical person smile.

Merry Christmas, from me to you, and your family.

Time for an eggnog folks, don't skip on the rum.

-Matt

Karma? Depends on what I had for breakfast...

Another thing that's been on my mind lately is the idea of karma. Do good things and good things will happen to you. Hurt people, and the powers that be in the universe will be hurt. Why would we believe this to be true? On a big enough scale, as is said in "Watchmen" by Alan Moore, "Everything balances." But does it really have to? Does it matter how good we are to people to see if the universe will help us? A better question, does the universe actually give a damn?

Now, I'm not out here to go after religion and beliefs in a higher power, God only knows that I've had my fair scare of religions crises and relied on prayer to get me through, so maybe I'm a hypocrite with this post, but I refuse to touch religion with this. Rather, this post is to be a stream of consciousness about how our actions seem to do little to work into a karmic think tank that some people believe governs how things happen.

What ever happened to chance? I missed my train because my shoelace broke and my shoelace broke because it was worn down, not because I didn't give that homeless the quarter I picked up off the ground. If I toss a handful of playing cards in the air, will the ace of spades land face up or face down? Well to some people, it depends on what they had for breakfast. To me, it relies on a number of factors, but ultimately comes down to probability. No one can figure out the universe. If you do, or think you do, give me a call. I'll call some publishers, and we'll write a book.

Because when it all comes down to it, the world is made up of so many variables that what we do, karma or not, has little bearing on what actually happens. I've had my fair share of instances where I feel like something good is offset by something bad is offset by something good. But what about those days where something bad happens, so you assume something good is going to happen? Sounds like a mathematical problem entitled "Gambler's Ruin". It's a belief that if you're on a losing streak, you're bound to win soon. But here's the lowdown of it. The probability of hitting blackjack in a casino is the same as when you were losing 12 hands in a row. Just like the probability that the train will come is the same regardless of how much change you hand to the man in the corner, and how many cards land face up has nothing to do with the type of eggs you had for breakfast.

There is no magical formula for good things to happen to you. It's all about perception. Sometimes missing the train can be a good thing.

-Matt

Where are we going in life? In a circle...

I used to write a blog called "Matt's Thoughts". I kept it up, but you can't read it. There's not much there to read. I wrote a post a couple of years ago, when I graduated high school, saying how all it seemed I amounted to was to sit on the couch, waiting to go camping, while I watched Scrubs. Kind of funny how things change when you get to college. Now I'm sitting here, with almost 5 full semesters of college under my belt, making index cards for a final and watching The Sopranos.

Funny how it plays out. How circular things can end up being for everyone. We work to avoid the inevitable, but in the end, on a large enough scale, things just keep going in a circle. We fear the big things that are coming in life, and welcome the small things. We resist change, and when it's inevitable, we come to accept it eventually, losing the will to resist it. But why resist what's going to happen eventually. We can try to stop the inevitable, but in the end, the world keeps on turning.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

-Matt

Everything has to have a beginning...

All right. Here's my first post into a blog that I'm sure very few people will actually read. This blog is going to be my outlet for my (sometimes nihilistic) philosophical revelations that come to me throughout the day.

If you, the reader, actually have found this, then I say to you, congratulations. You've discovered what I, the author of this blog, have dubbed the rantings of the clinically sane.

Now you may wonder why I say that I'm "clinically sane". Does this mean that I've gone in for some testing? Fuck no. Does it mean that I feel as though I hold some superiority to those who haven't had the same experiences I haven't? Well, don't we all? It's only human to think so, ain't it? So why would I call myself clinically sane? Well maybe it's because I have this idea in my head that I can see the world objectively, and make outside judgments on how things happen. Doesn't mean that I'm right, but that won't stop me from writing it.

The world is rooted in free speech, and that's what I'm exercising. Hell, it ain't illegal yet, is it? Now, to close out this birth of an idea, I'm going to make some disclaimers.
1. I'm not going to be polite in this blog. Why should I? The world isn't a polite place, so why should I bullshit people in my expression of myself? I'm going to post with coarse language, personal assumptions about the world, assumptions about people I know, people you may know, and people who I may never meet. I'm going to be unforgiving, politically incorrect, and an all around asshole at times, and I won't lose a minute of sleep for doing it.

Maybe you'll read something you like.

-Matt