"All the small things..."

Life is funny. Sometimes it shits on you. Sometimes it gives you everything you want. Maybe you'll total your new BMW, or maybe you'll get a raise at work. Funny how it works out: a balance of give and take. As stated in the infamous Fight Club, "On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero." How does that work for happiness? If this is the case, that on a long enough timeline, everything equalizes, how can we actually enjoy life?

I say to you this, my devout readers, savor the little victories in life, or else you'll go crazy. Share joy with people, life is to short to live in pessimism. This may sound like a uncharacteristic statement for me to make, but it's really not. If you find joy in being a cynical person, then go for it. Just enjoy what you're doing in life. Share with other people, and they will share their joy with you as well. So savor the little things. Think of "[p]eculiar travel suggestions as dancing lessons from God." (Cat's Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut). It's the little things and the details that push that little meter toward happiness. It all depends on how you look at it all.

So don't think too big picture. Not to say that you shouldn't at least glance at it all, but don't get so caught up in it that the little things pass you by. Life is more than a total endgame. Live, laugh, love. We don't spend enough time on this earth to justify staying in all the time and not going out to live life to the fullest. Enjoy the little things, be it a friend working hard to pass a test that he was certain he was going to fail, or something as simple as an old friend stopping by just to say hi. It's the little things that make life interesting, so enjoy them.

To clarify my argument about the whole life isn't an endgame: it's not. Life isn't just a slow, steady walk to the grave. It moves really fast. Ask anyone who has felt as though they missed something in life, and they'll tell you the same. There are little things in life to be savored, and that's how you achieve happiness in the whole situation. You just enjoy the little things. Find joy in little places, and it'll add up.

The final word? If the devil's in the details, better hope that son of a bitch makes 'em interesting.

**Also, for those of you who noticed the title, it is in fact from "All the Small Things" by blink-182. Normally, I'd think of a clever witticism for the title, but this one fits pretty damn well.

Dedication: This post is dedicated to Jei Ik Chang, a friend of mine in my EMT-B class who, despite a staggering language barrier from South Korea to America, was able to pass the practical exam on 06/07/10. Congratulations Jei Ik.

Can I get a bigger fishbowl? I can't fit my new castle in...

Pink Floyd, in their famous song "Wish You Were Here" sang "We're just two lost souls, swimmin' in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground. What have you found? The same old fears. Wish you were here." But who is missing in this case? The entire song asks for finding the difference between Heaven and hell, a cool breeze versus hot air, even a "walk on part in the war" or a "leading role in a cage". The thing that's missing is life itself. The person is just going through the motions in life. They keep going over the same situations, and they keep finding the same things.

Funny how that applies to life, isn't it? If you keep doing the same things over and over, you'll get the same results. So simple, yet so profound. On the surface, things might seem different, but they rarely are. There might be some little detail that you think has changed, but details is details. You can keep changing the situation as best you can, but unless you're changing your course of actions, you're just going to keep "running over the same old ground."

Expand your life to something new. No, don't decide to set your house on fire, live in an abandoned warehouse, and make soap. I mean, if you know something hasn't worked out in the past, who's to say it's going to magically work out the next time? Well, give it a shot. Oh wait. Didn't work that time? Gonna try it again? Didn't work that time? Oh damn. Now, I'm not saying not to be persistent. But open your eyes a bit. Don't he so hung up on one thing! Go out and live your life! After all, you're on this world for so long, so you might as well try something new. What's the worst thing that can happen?

...That last question was rhetorical. I'm sure tons of things can go wrong. But hey, that's life. If you're going to keep living in fear of something new, you might as well get a little plastic castle, some colored rocks, and wait for the magical giant to sprinkle your dinner through your roof.

"Here, can you put on this cape, and remember, I don't speak English..."

I'd like to start off this post with a quote from, in my opinion, one of the greatest writers to grace the face of the earth. Satirist Kurt Vonnegut Jr. once said "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be," in his novel Mother Night, published 1961. And how right he was. What is our existence but a compilation of our perceptions of others? If you define yourself differently, who's gonna back that up?

You need to keep in mind that your perception of others is really a basis of who you really are. Sure, you can be someone different to different people, but what if there's no consistency? Who are you in that sense? Are you the party loving, free spirit? Or the bookworm, who holes himself up in the library? Who can vouch for you, if you need a character reference? The man you blacked out with and got married to in Vegas? Or your study buddy who you spent countless hours in the library with, trying to make sure you understood the history of Soviet Russia? Honestly, if you were in court, I'd recommend the study buddy to vouch for you that you're not a criminal.

But outside of court, what about how people define you to others? When people ask about you, what if you don't want to be the party guy and you want to be the bookworm? Are you willing to compromise your integrity as a person just to impress someone? Be consistent, for Christ's sake! I'm not going to preach here that I'm the same person to everyone, but at least I don't try to hide my multi-faceted personality. Embrace who you are with people. If someone thinks your a nerd for being a science major, at least admit to them you like to tie a few on. No need to wave a sign screaming your college alcoholism. But don't hide it under a rock like your porn collection you give to a friend to hide from you for Lent.

So really folks, let's not pretend we're something we're not. Keep consistency, or else you're more waffle-y than IHOP on a Sunday. And no one wants that. After all, you don't come with free toppings.

"Are you normal?"..."Yeah, but only by the standards of the insane..."

All right. It's been over two weeks since I've posted, I've got 2 days clean and sober (no, I'm not an alcoholic or anything, I just wanted something snarky to start off this new post with), and I've got something to say for once, or twice. Maybe three times. Regardless! On with the show.

How do we judge normalcy? I mean, really. What is considered natural human behavior? We all have our objective morals, our personal standards we hold against people, but are those enforceable on a complete scale? I'm not saying abandon your individuality and become one of the sheeple that wreak havoc on society by doing nothing. Maintain your personal morals! But as per usual, this is a tangent for a different day.

Today, I beg the question: "What is normal?" More than likely, you've been told by someone or even told someone yourself "You're weird." But what is weird? Maybe it has to be defined in parts... Please note, I'm relying on the American ideals of normalcy. Not to say that we're better than anyone else, just this is my frame of reference. I'm not a Zulu warrior nor an Eskimo slave.*

Is normalcy the altruistic behavior we've come to accept as societal obligation? Someone once outlined this to me in a very interesting way. Think of a sweat shop. Think of the suffering men, women, and children in there. Think of how hard they work day in and day out for pennies on the dollar. Sure makes you wanna run out to UNICEF, huh? But, corruption in charity aside, who's to say that the money you're donating is going to help those people. Now I know there are those of you out there who are going to tell me that the money you give raises their quality of life and things like that, but I say to them, "What if you stop donating?" Will someone else pick up the slack? What about the person who was receiving your help? What if the person/group you're helping becomes dependent on what you're giving them? What if they need the money to continue their newly found lifestyle? Have you done good for them by creating this dependence? If that's the case, certainly you're idea of normalcy, in the form of altruistic behavior has failed in its goodness, has it not? Never looked at it that way, did you? It's surprising how good intentions can pave the way to hell, isn't it? Now, I'm not saying don't give to charity, not at all. Give if you will, but I say to you this. Don't give because it's expected of you. Give out of the goodness of your heart that you might help someone. And this is only the first facet of the multi-sided conundrum we call normality.

The next brick in this pyramid of the damned is public relations and societal actions. Not just the shit you do behind closed doors. For all I care, you can play pin the tail on the donkey naked with a midget riding a unicycle. I'm talking how we're supposed to act in public. What is deemed appropriate by people. What is considered "proper"? Why not form your own cultural norms? For instance, tailgating someone in upstate New York is considered to be impolite, however, doing the same thing in New York City is considered to be perfectly normal. Why not try this? Stop judging my ideas of normalcy, and I won't criticize the potential illogical basis of yours. I'll do what I want, how I want, and in such a manner that I deem it right.


A final screw in the bridge that everyone jumps off is greed. Everyone seems to claim that greed is a central part of human nature. We're greedy by nature. If someone steals from another man, it's just because he's greedy by nature. Well I've got one word that shoots this theory to shit. Altruism. Yes, altruism. For those of you playing the home game, altruism is the action of sacrificing oneself for another. You see it in squirrels a lot. One squirrel will sacrifice himself or herself to an eagle to save the squirrel colony. Why do people feel the need to act in such a manner to help others, when apparently we're greedy by nature? Who the hell knows? That's what I say.

People always say that the picture of human nature is beautiful and unable to be understood. A beautiful picture indeed. Yet we've bastardized it with so many judgmental changes and forced interactions, it's something completely different.

A beautiful picture indeed. So, in theory, if you smash that all together, and wipe off the blood, there's a picture there. A picture of human normalcy. Looks like someone puked on the Mona Lisa to me.

*For the record, I'm not saying Eskimos believe in slavery. I'm merely remarking at the possibility that they did or do, or what have you. I'm just saying, if they do/did, I'm not one.

Life is like a bull in a china shop. And he's only there to get some nice plates...

First off, allow me to apologize, my beloved readers. It has been far too long since I have graced you with my presence. Odds are, those of you who read this won't even notice this new post is up. Oh well. Back to my cynical roots for this post, folks.

You ever get the feeling that no matter what you do, you're going to be wrong? The old "walking on eggshells" adage, or even the "bull in the china shop" metaphor seems right. If you do something, even the littlest thing wrong, everything goes to hell. And then you've got a store full of broken plates, with an Asian man yelling at you that you need to pay for what you broke. OK, so not all china shop owners are Asian, but hey, a guy can dream, right?

If you're stuck in such a situation, often between 2 parties, where no matter what you do can be considered wrong by someone's standards, what should you do? Standing there is an option. Can't break nothing if you're not touching anything. Can't hurt any feelings by sitting there. Or can you? Sometimes sitting there is just as bad as making a decision. As people will preach, non-doing is just as important as choosing an action. Because you're choosing not to act. But where's the fun in that?

Then there is the other half of the spectrum. You pick a side. You take one person's opinion over the other, and listen to them. Often, in these situations, you're not thinking for yourself. You're listening to what other people think. And you end up with a bigger situation on your hands. To go back to the bull in the china shop comparison, you've just smashed a priceless vase. Can you put it back together? Sometimes. But what if you can't? Then you're screwed. All because you listened to someone else, and decided to pick a side.

So that's it, huh? You either pick a side, or you don't do anything. Wrong. There is a third option. It's ballsy, but it works. The third option is to create your own third road. You can listen to what other people think, and do what they want you to, or you can just stand there and hope the situation all blows over with time, or you can develop a solution that works for you. Is this always the best option? Probably not. but if you find ways to not get into situations stuck between two extremes, by looking out for yourself, then hot damn, I think we've got a winner.

I'm not saying that you should be an aloof, loner, who only looks out for his best interests. Let some altruism in, but try not to get panicked in situations between two people. Sometimes being honest, and nipping it all in the bud can defuse a potential H-bomb over Hiroshima (too soon?). Just by having the courage to say something of your own accord, and not simply parroting what a single side has said can make all the difference.

But nothing is without consequences. If there were no consequences, you wouldn't have gotten stuck in this situation in the first place. So be prepared for fallout from whatever you decide to do. But a little fallout is better than destroying the entire china shop.

If you mess with life, you'll get the horns. Try not to get impaled. After all, that's a lovely set of charger plates behind you.

If a butterfly can flap its wings, what can you do?

Have you ever stopped to think about how your actions affect others? No, I don't mean that in the parental way of actions speaking louder than words, or being a good person by the Golden Rule. I mean from a standpoint, of how the minutia of your day might sneak a part into someone else's life. Something as simple as flagging down a bus might alter the course of events in someone's day, leading to a potentially new set of events that would never have conspired.

Ever hear of the butterfly effect? It's like that. Only, because of the joys of free will and infinite possibility, the simplest of things can lead to the biggest outcomes. I'd like to share a story to regale you, if I may. A couple of years ago, some friends and I were heading down to Manhattan for a night of drinking, cavorting around, and all around good times. On the subway, some adolescents decided to pick a fight with two of my colleagues, leaving one of them bloodied on the subway floor. Following the departure of the hoodlums, an older woman came up to my friend, helped him to his feet, and made sure that he was all right, while one of us ran up to get the police. Had we ever met this woman before? No. Would we ever see her again? Not likely. Yet, she went out of her way, out of the compassion of her heart to help us. A complete stranger stepped into our lives. Just like that.

Now, I want you to do something for me. Think of your day. Think of all the strangers that you may have encountered. You may not realize it, but you do encounter many people odds are you don't know. You just don't see it. Think about it. If you're running to class, you inadvertently pass by a few dozen people who you don't know. They might see you, formulate an opinion about you based on the "vibes" you give off, or they might ignore you. Why not take the chance to brighten the day of a stranger? There is a woman and her husband I always pass on my way to my Physics lectures at 8:15 am. I have never introduced myself to her, nor her husband, yet every day, she smiles and says "Good morning." Her husband simply nods to acknowledge my existence before him. Something as small as that can really make all the difference. A simple "Good morning."

If a butterfly can flap its wings, and cause an earthquake in Tokyo, think of what a simple smile can do for a stranger. Just think about that.

I built a cold fusion laser out of Legos...

Everyone wonders what the purest intellect is. Is it mathematics, simplifying everything to numbers? Perhaps art, expressing things through emotion? What about science, forming theories that govern the world? No, rather, I find that there is a purer intellect that anyone would have ever imagined somewhere in front of all of us. It is easily lost, and very difficult to decipher. And it lies in babies.

Yes, babies. Those little drooling ankle biters that everyone thinks are so cute. Have you ever watched an infant stare at something and wonder what is going through its little mind? Ever watch a baby stare at itself in a mirror and question what it thinks it's seeing? I've wondered that. And I think I have an answer.

Babies are secretly geniuses. Now, before you jump down my throat, and say how they're just confused by how they just have underdeveloped minds, hear my argument. First off, I know that everyone has heard the old expression "a product of your environment" or something to that extent. Something stating that we see the world based on how we are told to view it; viewing things by how we are raised, etc. Yes? Thought so. Now, look at babies. How are they influenced? All they see is a doctor pulling them out of the womb and then different parts of a hospital. They're not told anything. In the home, a baby learns by experience. If it falls, or hits its head, its reaction is based on how the parents react. Otherwise, they are left to their own conclusions.

Really, a baby is a product of the universe. They are not influenced by anything but their parents. A baby experiences hunger. It doesn't necessarily know that it needs to eat something, it's just aware of the sensation of hunger. But as a child, our parents fed us when we experienced this discomfort. Then, the baby begins to associate the sensation of hunger with being fed by its parents. Subsequently, the child is raised to feed itself. And thus, the habituation of eating when hungry is formed.

But food is not the only thing. Look at politics. If a child is raised in a right wing household, it's possible that the child may follow in the footsteps of its parents, using similar arguments to justify things from a right wing point of view. Defending the war in Iraq, arguing against President Obama, etc. Or, there is another side of the coin. A child might develop disdain for their parental politics. They might begin to drink the Obama Kool-Aid, and start making arguments that support the liberal president. They might support an increase in welfare and other left wing politics, despite their parental objections. Regardless of the actual outcome, it proves one thing. As we grow up, we're influenced by our environment, our surroundings, our upbringings.

Now to the actual argument here: baby geniuses. Those little buggers are quite possibly the most worldly people out there. They have no frame of reference to see the world through. They are the purest minds out there. William Blake even wrote a juxtaposition of the "Songs of Innocence" versus the "Songs of Experience", the first implying the "innocence" of childhood is lost as an individual gains "experience". And it's true. A child, at birth, is not only a screaming ball of flesh covered in sticky goo, but rather, an unshapen blob of potential. Potential to see the world through unrestricted eyes.

With such potential, there is no end to what a baby can do. They aren't tainted by perspectives of how to do things. We need to learn how to decipher their pure thoughts. It may not be the most "intellectual" thing that you may hear. But really, your intellect is biased by whatever you've shaped it to be.

While you're at it, leave those Lincoln Logs there. Baby Johnny might be needing them to make an anti-gravity skateboard.

-Matt

It's good for the first 10 minutes. Then it's all downhill from there...

Happy New Year to you, my devoted readers. As I was informed by the gents over at the daily webcomic "Cyanide and Happiness", now that 2009 has ended, there can be no more glasses in which the centers are circles until 3000.

That being said, it's a new year. A new shot for all of us to try to keep our new years resolutions, a chance for something new to conspire, and a chance to forget all the things we missed out on in the previous year. But that's not all folks. It's not just a new year. It's a new decade. A reset on that 10 year clock. Talk about new beginnings.

But who's to say this new year is going to be that different from any other year? Who's to say that it will be better? Honestly, it seems that every year we have this confounding optimism that each year will be better than the last. Is this year "due to be a good year"? Is it because the previous year sucked? Why is it that every year at January 1, 12:01 am we feel that the world has pushed reset and all bets are off? It's simple. We wish to feel that things are going to be better now that something has changed.

Yet nothing has really changed. The world keeps spinning as fast as it always did (to you physicists, let's not argue the semantics of the earth spinning). The sun still rises, grass is still green, etc. The only thing that has changed is the numerical system we associate with the date. That's all. Perhaps some new opportunities will come about, however, who's to say they wouldn't without the change in the year?

When the confetti falls, the champagne bottles are returned for their respective deposits, and the hangover passes, we realize something. The reality of the situation is that nothing has changed. It's just another holiday is a string of things. Another year ends, closing out the first decade of a new millennium, and the cosmos did not open to rain malted milk balls down upon us.

Happy New Year. And remember, life is what you make it. Make it good. Don't let others take control for you.

-Matt

Is "Life" open book? Because I didn't study...

School. Oh yes, we all go to school at some point. Maybe you don't. Maybe you dropped out. Maybe you're a post doctorate. Maybe you're just some schmuck who stumbled into a classroom, sat in a desk, and woke up hours later, realizing you learned quantum physics in your sleep. Who knows? Honestly, I don't give a damn. We've all had some sort of education experience, where we're told that this is going to be important. Addition, multiplication, reading. Maybe later in life you learn things related to a potential job. Your college major. Your concentration. Your job training.

But there's more to life than learning in a classroom. We learn from our experiences. Our mistakes. Our successes. The old adage of "You learn more from your failures than your successes" echoes true, whether we want to admit it or not. I mean, look at the way things play out. Sure, we can write a paper about Oedipus Rex, learn all about how Oedipus offed his father and diddled his mother, but who's the professor for life? Who judges your decisions that you make, just as a professor grades your papers on whether you were right or wrong that gravity points down or whether or not Hamlet was crazy or really seeing his father's ghost.

The answer, my friends, is simple. You are your own professor. You are the one who judges the validity of your decisions. You choose how you let things affect you. You learn on your own. Sure, there are people who guide you along the way, but when push comes to shove, and the chips are down, you're the one who decides along the way. You grade your own performance in life.

Better give yourself a good curve.

-Matt

Sometimes you have to read the writing on the wall...

I saw something interesting on Facebook, yes Facebook my enlightened readers. I saw a Bumper Sticker that stated (in the form of black writing on a red bathroom stall): "Since writing on toilet walls is done neither for critical acclaim nor financial rewards, it is the purest form of art. Discuss." Interesting sentiment, ain't it? The purest form of art is that done by amateurs armed with nothing more than a felt tipped marker or pen, whilst using a public toilet. I've seen some real interesting writings on bathroom walls. "Joe was here." Insightful, and often paired with the often inevitable, "Joe is a faggot," or any insulting variation. Artsy? I'd have to say nay. Rather, it's more of a way for someone to vent their frustration on an anonymous stranger. Others see it as a guy simply stating his presence, making it known. A smaller group still, might walk in, see the writing and cry out: "Hey! I know Joe! I didn't know he shit here! Holy hot dicks from hell, I'm going to call him and tell him we shared a toilet!"

But that's not the art we're talking about here. Rather, we're talking about the philosophical statement or poem scribbled on the walls. We've all read them, be it in a truck stop, bathroom stall, or what have you. They make us question something philosophically. If you haven't read something like this, I recommend going on a road trip, and eating some Mexican food along the way. Trust me, you'll find something. I'm referring to something along the lines of "Stop and smell the roses. Life moves too fast."

Now, for those of you who know me, you know that I could go on for days about that single quote, regarding how fast live moves, but I have a different intent for this posting. Why would I bring up the juxtaposition of the "Joe was here" bathroom squabbling of the potential beauty of bathroom poetry. I bring it up because that's exactly what life is. There are the little gems of beauty that give us a new lease on things, maybe a new view. They come in many forms, such as someone resolving an issue between you and them, maybe someone paying off a debt you had forgotten about, or maybe someone wants to rekindle a relationship that you had with them, that had since fallen by the wayside. Then there are the "Joe was here" moments; moments that had potential to be something meaningful on a blank canvas, but rather, clutter our minds, feelings, and emotions.

The dichotomy of life. We have times that change our lives, maybe alter our views on life, and then we have the senseless babble of a bathroom prophet. Sure, we all wish that life was just the beauty and philosophy of the former posts, but we can't completely disregard the latter. Sometimes the rage of a ranting indoctrinator breaks up the monotony of life, and gives one a little bit of senseless fun. Without such moments, the meaningful things seem less meaningful. To quote Jay, the incessant stoner from the Kevin Smith View Askewniverse, "He thinks just 'cause he doesn't say anything, it'll have some huge impact when he does open his fuckin' mouth," (Chasing Amy**). Really, the most meaningful things in life are only meaningful once we have some standard to compare them against. Can't have good times without some bad times to remind us how good the good times were.

Savor what comes by, my dear readers. Life moves fast, and you can miss it pretty easily if you don't take a breath once in a while. Besides, variety is the spice of life. It might come from a different type of jalapenos on your nachos. Maybe it comes from finding a quarter on the ground, when you thought you dropped a penny. And sometimes, the spice of life comes from the scribblings of someone on a public toilet stall. Time to write your own story.

By the way, do you have a Sharpie I can borrow? I had tacos for lunch.

-Matt

**For those of you who aren't familiar with Chasing Amy or any other works of Kevin Smith that take place in the fictional View Askweniverse, Jay is referring to a character, aptly named, Silent Bob. He lives up to his name in the sense that he never speaks in any of the movies, and, as implied by Jay's declaration, when he does speak, it often imparts some philosophical knowledge. The irony is that the quiet one, Silent Bob, will impart gems of knowledge once or twice in a movie, when Jay, the loudmouth stoner, won't stop talking, and rarely gives any insight more than childish babble of "Snoochie Boochies".